Four Positive Phrases for Montessori Kids

Clear communication is an important part of an adult’s work in Montessori. Montessori adults use careful language to communicate as clearly as possible with young children. This supports the sensitive periods for order and for language. Clear communication can ease frustration and limit conflict. In The Absorbent Mind, Montessori spoke of the importance of using positive language with children and warns of always inferring the negative when communicating with little ones (“Don’t do that.” “Don’t touch that.” Etc). Here are a few clear phrases to keep in your back pocket:

• “Let’s try together.” Children strive for functional independence, but can sometimes be reluctant to try a new skill independently. This can be putting new shoes on, serving themselves a snack or putting their dirty dish away. Instead of stepping in to do it for them, invite them to try it with you. Helping a child master a skill on their own gives them confidence and new skills to build on.

• “On a different day.” I don’t like being the no mom, but some things are a no for that day. Can we get ice cream? “On a different day, of course!”

• “It’s not a choice.” Positive language can still be met with resistance. When a choice isn’t available (like, buckling seatbelts or holding a hand when crossing a street), we can offer this gentle reminder.

• “Let’s go together.” This is a phrase that can be used when a direct instruction is met with resistance. Time to leave a playdate? “Let’s go together.” Time to get in the car for school? “Let’s go together.” This phase invites children to cooperate.