Implementing Chores with Children

If you walk into a Montessori early childhood classroom, you will find children cooking and cleaning. Have you ever tried to get your child to pick up after themselves at home, and it’s turned into a disaster? You’re not alone!

It may seem daunting to include your toddler or preschooler in chores. It’s going to take so much more time, right? Unfortunately, that’s likely. But trust me, the earlier you implement chores into your child’s routine, the easier it is in the long run. Implementing chores at home has so many great benefits!

• Chores support your child’s development! That’s right. Folding laundry, loading the dishwasher and sweeping the floor support your child’s cognitive and motor development. They also support critical executive functioning skills needed for children to follow directions, make decisions and complete multi-step processes.

• Chores boost independence! Functional independence is the goal of the first 6 years of life (or the first plane of development in Montessori terms).

• Chores create a meaningful role for your child. Children want to be contributing members of a family. Including children in chores invites them into that role.

Doesn’t that sound magical? Do you feel like it might take some actual magic to get your child to do chores? Here are some things that might help:

• Start small. Don’t expect your child to be folding their laundry and vacuuming the floor over night. Start with simple one-step chores like folding washcloths or loading their cup into the dishwasher.

• Grow the chores with your child. As your child grows and masters new skills, chores can become more advanced. Folding washcloths can grow to folding towels. Before you know it, they will be loading their clothes into the washing machine independently!

• Don’t make everything a game. That’s right. Chores aren’t always fun and that’s okay. Remember that young children have the internal motivation to take pride in a job well done. Creating a game out of chores can often make it harder to keep chores in place as children get older and novelty of the game wears off.

Montessori at Home: Meltdowns

Let me say this clearly: meltdowns are okay. Meltdowns can be expected and are not something we need to “stop.” Should we work to diminish them? Yes. Is it best for everyone if they are few and far between? Absolutely. Are they fun to deal with? Not in the slightest.

The cornerstone of Montessori is respect for the child. Dr. Montessori built her life’s work on the guiding principle that children are humans who deserve deep respect. Meltdowns can be dealt with in a way that keeps the dignity of the child in tact and supports self-regulation. They can also be handled without bribing, shaming or shouting. Here are a few tips on handling meltdowns in a way that is compatible with the Montessori philosophy:

• Remain calm. You are the adult and you are the one who is capable of managing yourself independently. Reminding yourself of this may help you respond to your child with compassion. Remember that you have the power in this situation. You can wield that power to shout and overpower your child OR you can use that power to remain calm to the end.

• Make sure everyone is safe. If they are hurting themselves or others, gently remove them from the situation if they are unable to move their own bodies.

• Use as few words as possible. If your child has lost their cool, they are just not able to process a whole lot of what you say. Using too many words when a child is upset can perpetuate their frustration and make the situation worse.

• Practice co-regulation. Let them sit in your lap until they are calm. Model deep breathing. Hold their hand. Take them for a walk. Do not treat this is a distraction, but as a means to help them find composure.

• Help them practice accountability. If your child has thrown something or hurt someone during a meltdown, help them take responsibility for their actions when they feel calm. Simply take them back and work with them as they clean up things or check in on the person they have harmed. This can help them practice being a responsible human without using shame or punishment. And remember, no need to force apologies during this process.

• Move on with your day. No need to speak of it later. And maybe have a drink after bedtime ;)

Montessori at Home: Spoken Language

The Montessori environment offers a language rich environment for young children. This language rich environment reaches beyond materials on the shelf. One of the most important aspects of the prepared environment is the adult themselves. Montessori stated over and over again that the adult is a part of the child’s prepared environment and must take the appropriate measures to prepare themselves.

The adult offers one of the most important components to the language rich environment: spoken language. From the moment a child walks into a classroom, from the eye contact they are met with to hearing their name spoken correctly to lessons with the geometry cabinet and reading shelf, the adult is providing a rich spoken language experience. In the classroom, children are given implicit and explicit lessons on speaking and listening. These lessons range from grace and courtesy lessons on how to listen when someone tells a story to command games that require a keen listening ear to play the game. Spoken language is one of the foundational elements of literacy. Research supports this. Children who have a strong vocabulary show greater ease in learning to read. Speaking and listening skills are vital to a strong foundation in literacy. Here are a few ways to engage your child with rich spoken language at home:

• Make songs and poems a regular part of your day.. Share simple nursery rhymes and songs from your own childhood. Children can learn new poems and songs with ease. When you introduce new songs and poems to your child, you will likely be met with delight.

• Listen intently to your child’s stories without giving correction. Ask clarifying questions when they are finished.

• Make mealtimes rich with conversation. Eat together at the table. Practice taking turns speaking and listening. Share stories from your day.

• Take some time to learn about their interests. Do they love giraffes? Do some research and introduce them to new vocabulary. Keep it causal and conversational.

• Tell true stories with a beginning, middle and ending every day. Even a simple story about your commute to work or a quick description about a bird you saw on your drive home will do. These details may seem boring, but your child will be riveted by the most mundane stories from your day.

• Read. This may be obvious, but there are tremendous benefits to reading to your child. Did you know that children who are already fluent readers still reap the benefits of being read aloud to?